We all have our own struggles in life.  Some of us might deal with long-standing issues that hit at the core of who we are—whether the result from family matters, identity crisis, or a tragic event that has lasting effects on our lives, even years later.  Others of us might be forced to deal with more external challenges that might result from illness, divorce, a death in the family, etc.  However, we all have a certain level of reaction and resiliency that we possess that determine how we’ll react and deal with the situation at-hand.

I can say that I’ve been fortunate, so far.  I’ve not had very many of what I’d consider those ground-shaking events that made me think that I couldn’t possibly go on.  That is not to say that I haven’t had moments of crisis in my life.  I’ve dealt with divorce.  I’ve seen close friends who had let their lifestyle determine their “death style”.  I’ve had to deal with losing people I knew to suicide, and I’ve had to console and support colleagues, as they dealt with those same challenges.  I’ve known and lost people to illness that took them too soon, or I’ve witnessed the struggle as they try to go on in spite of their circumstances.

However, if I apply the law of averages to my life, perhaps I’ve “been playing with house money”, as I’ve mostly been more indirectly affected by those kinds of crises (or been dealt only a glancing blow).  So the question becomes, how will I react and what would I do if I found myself staring face-to-face with some of life’s possible catastrophic events?  Only a truly heartless person could force themself to be unaffected, and suppressing the hurt, sadness, and/or anger could make things worse.  Then, even though I’ve never been in a situation where I felt that the only solution was to take my own life…other people struggle with that feeling and still others have succumbed to that feeling.

As I write this, my goal is not to say that everything will be ok, or that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”.  I’m trying to acknowledge that there are really difficult situations that people deal with, and that the pain that people feel when dealing with hard times is real.  However, I also want to point out that some people have been able to persevere and overcome these situations.

I worry about how to give my family this strength when they need it.  Thinking that you have to deal with hard times alone often takes you down the harder path.  Knowing that you have support from others greatly enhances your ability to overcome these types of obstacles.  I want to make sure that my family knows that I’m here for them.  Also, I do feel like they’ll be there for me when I need them, so I think it’s important to be prepared to do the same for them.  As my family started our blog to document our efforts to try to become closer—to mend old hurts and feel less isolated from each other—I want them to know that it’s important that we’re also here for each other and that we can make it through tough times together.

I’ve been listening to a podcast called “The Grit Theory”—this podcasts showcases people who overcame difficult situations, and tries to remind us that it is possible to overcome adversity and triumph over hard times.  While still relatively new, the podcast has featured a variety of people, with different backgrounds, who’ve had to overcome different challenges.  After listening, I’ve often asked myself how I would deal with a certain situation if it was me versus the person telling the story.  What could I learn from the guest sharing their story and experience?  

I’d like to think that even by pausing a moment to think about it now, that I’ll be able to make a better choice of what to say, what to do when faced with a moment of crisis or tragedy than if I went out of my way to avoid such topics because they may not be pleasant.  Also, if I’m able to think and react better, then it benefits the family as well—whether by setting a good example  or instilling strength in my family members.  

What would you do when faced with difficulty?  If you know what you would do, do you wish that you had the ability, the will, or the presence of mind to take a different option?  If so, may I propose that you check out “The Grit Theory” and then try to empathize with the hosts, guests, and stories being told.  Perhaps some little nugget of wisdom from those shared experiences will guide you through your own struggles or when times of crisis hit.  Finally, if anyone is willing to share a difficult situation they’ve had to deal with and how they persevered, please share with us.  Your story could become the inspiration for someone else to deal with their own crisis or struggle.